Next week, you’ll get an email from quotaless as I’m rebranding. Please read on for additional info.

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I was failing Statistics.

During my sophomore year at Ohio State, skipping lectures, showing late to others, and barely opening the textbook proved costly.

When I went asking for the professor’s help, she stared at me in disgust.

“You should drop the class and re-take it next quarter.”

“But my tuition… I can’t afford to drop another class. Isn’t there something I can do?”

“You’ve missed too much. You don’t have the foundation for the more complex concepts.”

“What if I get 100% the rest of the way?”

“There are two tests left then the final. I don’t see you scoring well enough.”

“But what if I do? Isn’t there a chance?”

“If you score 100s, you’d pass with a C.”

From that moment forward, I glued myself to her.

I came early and sat in the front at every lecture. I showed at every office hour. She offered two extra credit projects and I completed both.

Heading into the final, I had scored perfect 100s on each midterm. All the studying had paid off.

Leaving her last office hour, a big smile wiped away her disgust.

“You’re ready,” she said.

The final came back 98.5%. I missed half a question where my work was right but I’d miscalculated some simple math.

“You were so close!” she wrote near the top in red ink.

Close enough to earn a B- for the quarter after applying the extra credit projects.

“It’s the best turnaround I’ve seen in a long time. Great work.”

“Thank you for sticking with me. It means a lot.”

That’s how turnarounds go. One minute we’re steeped in failure, the next we’re smiling with relief.

In life, we get confronted by fear, doubt, anxiety, and self-judgment millions of times over.

And each time, we choose to sit with those emotions or do something.

We dwell on the past or we choose to begin again.

It’s time I begin again.

Student of Intention goes away next week. Quotaless takes its place.

You can read more about it here.

Otherwise, you’ll get an email next Tuesday like always, but different.

I hope you continue to follow along, message me, and support my work.

But if it’s time you move on, that’s ok too.

No matter how bad or good things seem, nothing lasts.

We are always free to live the next moment as though it were new.

Because it is.

How will you live your next moment?

Will you choose to begin again?

Please like 👍 or comment 💬

Remember,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

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Today’s intention is:

To go.

Go for the job, the trip, the car, or the kiss.

Sometimes, it’s just the right time.

On May 10, 2019, I quit my job as VP of Sales.

It was a Friday.

And on Saturday, I got married.

Three days later, we flew to Bora Bora to snorkel for two weeks. Tracy and I stayed in one of those overwater bungalows.

I remember drinking French wine on the deck listening to Hall & Oats while she slept. The moonlight sparkled on the waves as they crashed against the wooden stilts holding us up.

Some nights I thought about how lucky I was watching that moon.

Others, I thought about how scared I was to go home.

I cashed my last paycheck before I left.

There wasn’t a business plan… no website, no brand, no real clue of what I was going to do.

I just had to try something.

Before leaving my job, I drove away every morning at 630 AM while Tracy and Bernie stayed sleeping.

I wouldn’t come home until 7 at night then go to bed knowing I’d just leave again in the morning.

I hated it so much I promised myself I’d stop doing it.

So I quit.

Almost three years later, I have a website.

I have a brand, some business plans, and know a little bit about what I am doing.

Could I have prepared better? Absolutely.

Could I have waited for a better time? Maybe.

But no amount of planning would’ve really prepared me.

All the ideas, challenges, and triumphs… it’s all stuff I never could have imagined.

Some stuff is too incredible to imagine.

You just trust things will be ok and do what you got to do.

I don’t have everything figured out. And I don’t want to.

But every morning, I kiss Tracy and squeeze Bernie.

Then we walk together while the sun wakes up.

For now, that’s enough for me.

Please Like 👍 and Comment 💬

Remember,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Today’s intention is:

To lean in.

Whatever’s camped out in your head, don’t resist it. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t let it fester one more minute.

Today, race toward it.

Standing at the top of Chair 4, Taylor waves me forward.

I point both skis down the mountain, push the poles into the snow and shove off.

Wind blasts me as I pick up speed.

I turn my hips then stomp my inside right edge into the icy floor. 

The skis rattle. My throat locks up and my teeth clamp down.

I turn again. My left ski catches powdery snow. The sure footing feels good.

Taylor zooms by. I point both skis down.

We hurl past several skiers.

The faster we go, the more I imagine the skis flying out from under me.

I only see white space, no depth, no grooves or mounds.

More wind blasting.

Uncertainty pushes me to my heels then I feel my balance slipping.

My throat and teeth do their thing again…

“Remember, lean forward. You crash when you lean back.” Taylor’s earlier guidance pops into my head.

I squat deep, and press my chin forward into the blustery wind.

The skis lock on the snow as I glide down Mammoth’s frontside.

Taylor’s standing at the bottom. I slam both skis into the ground and skid to a stop just in front of him.

“Damn dude, you were cruising. I’m impressed.”

“Only way, right?”

“Only way.”

I hadn’t been on skis since I was 10. And even though I felt terrified the entire time, leaning into that terror was my shortcut toward progress.

It’s your short cut too.

Here’s how Pressfield puts it:

“Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”

Growth, progress comes from reaching beyond your edges.

And tension, fear signals you’ve reached them.

Your throat locks up and teeth clamp down.

Remember, lean forward.

Only way, right?

See you at the bottom.

Like 👍 and Comment 💬

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Today’s intention is:

To reveal.

We all have our inner “nerd”, that person who loves Harry Potter books, 80s movies, or pickleball.

Revealing that inner nerd, not hiding it, leads to understanding, connection, and love.

During my first Sales Kick-Off,

I volunteered for a pitch contest in front of the whole company.

Whoever presented the “best product pitch in 10 minutes” won a prize.

Only a few weeks in, I didn’t know much but figured I could come up with something while the others presented.

Then my VP said I’d be going first. I had 15 minutes.

Scrambling to put together some slides, I checked the company website, training material, and a few articles.

I searched for things to make me “sound smart”, like I knew what I was talking about.

But every detail made me feel more clueless. There was just so much I didn’t know. 

So with 5 minutes left, I thought about what I did know.

I knew the company had incredible founders. I believed in them. They were why I joined.

I knew they'd do anything for customers. It showed in all the people I met interviewing and onboarding.

I knew they cared about the industry. They wanted to change it and were happy to take the lead.

So I put that stuff onto slides. I included pictures of the founders and a few "cheesy" quotes. Because I love cheesy quotes.

I didn't win.

I finished second to a guy who sang a rap about the company.

It was pretty good. He deserved the victory.

But I held my own. My presentation landed well because I did me.

You land well when you do you.

If you're into numbers, be the best numbers person.

If you're a product knowledge junkie, devour that stuff.

And if you love cheesy quotes, share that gooey goodness.

It doesn’t matter what you’re into. What matters is that you show it. You reveal it all with joy and gratitude.

When you do, people listen. We get inspired. We smile and say “thank you”.

We see the real you.

We see the best you.

Like 👍 and Comment 💬

Remember,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Today’s intention is:

To return.

Return to a good idea, good friend, or good book. There’s still gold there. You just forgot about it.

Walking out of Philz coffee, I spot a chair overlooking Huntington Pier.

The sun shines bright and the recent heatwave warms the seat.

I put in my pods then swipe through Sam Harris’ Waking Up app. The app provides 10 and 20 minute daily meditations. I use it every day.

It also sports a library of lessons and conversations exploring theories behind mindfulness and related ideas. Last week, Sam uploaded 200 hours of Alan Watts audio (old recordings of the famous philosopher discussing Zen, Taoism, myth, religion, etc.)

It presents a nearly endless amount of information about mindfulness. 

Swiping through each section, I wonder whether I’ll ever finish it all.

I click “Fundamentals” (basics on using the app and the benefits of meditation).

I listened to the section months ago but give it a second play sitting with my coffee, staring out at the mighty Pacific.

There’s something about hearing the words this time around that strikes me. I remember why I committed to the practice. I listen as an experienced meditator, a different person.

I listen with keener ears.

For a moment, I feel like I get a nudge toward “presence”.

Reviewing familiar content can do that. We find kernels of information that land differently. We break away from our pesky obsession with “more”.

Whether it’s television, books, food, or relationship advice, we can’t get enough. While it’s obvious we shouldn’t feast on unlimited cheeseburgers, devouring knowledge can be problematic too.

This past year I’ve read more books and listened to more material than any other in my life.

Good things, right?

Sure. But that sneaky need for “more” can get its claws in me. And when it does, I feel anxious, like I’m falling behind or something.

I’m not falling behind and neither are you.

Rereading the introduction to a favorite book helps. Listening to a past podcast does too.

See with seasoned eyes. Listen with keener ears.

Go back to basics.

You’ll be surprised how another round lands.

Please Like 👍 and Comment 💬

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you like what you read, please subscribe and share with a friend or two.

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Today’s intention is:

To thank.

Whether through your actions or your words, a sincere thank you brings more good to a day than just about anything.

My buddy Dave and I take in a Clippers game.

We’re sitting center court a couple levels up from the floor. The Clippers are down 20 in the second quarter.

“Thank you for Alex’s gift. Sorry we couldn’t get her attention,” says Dave.

“No worries, it was bad timing. She was deep in that video game.”

“Man, the ipad keeps her entertained. But I worry we’re too disconnected. I’m just as bad as her with work and everything.”

“Think we all are buddy.”

“Sometimes it feels like we’re on autopilot. I’m around her all the time. But it’s not like we’re really there, ya know?”

“Yea. Trace and I work in the same house for hours and maybe say three words to each other. We might as well be in two different states.”

“Sounds familiar. How do we fix it?”

I put down my bag of popcorn. There are only a few pieces left and all the salt dried my mouth out.

“Well, every day around 3, Trace and I walk Bern together. Sometimes it’s for 10 minutes, other times it’s an hour. We don’t bring our phones. We just listen to each other. It’s the best part of my day.”

Dave chews on a Red Vine and smiles.

“You just gave me an idea. Thanks bro.”

I think Dave nails it with that term, “autopilot”.

Autopilot represents that unfocused time we spend so much of our day.

That time where work, content, messages, notifications, our own thoughts, steal our attention.

When enough gets stolen, we feel our most cherished relationships slipping away.

It’s like we’re not really there for each other.

But you can change it. And it doesn’t take much.

Schedule a coffee with your significant other.

Take a walk with your kid or teach her how to use a yo-yo.

Share something personal with a friend. Even if you’re at a Clippers game, one meaningful conversation makes a massive difference.

Whatever you do, leave your phone and bring your full energy. Ask questions and listen deeply to each other’s responses.

Practice focused time.

Five focused minutes are worth more than one hundred unfocused.

People feel that difference when you give it to them.

Then they want to give it right back.

After a few exchanges, your cherished relationships show resilience, depth, and meaning. 

One thing though, offer focused time unconditionally.

Just because you’re ready to give, doesn’t mean the other person is ready to receive.

Attention elicits attention. The same goes for acceptance and grace.

Please Like 👍 and Comment 💬

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you like what you read, please subscribe and share with a friend or two.

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Today’s intention is:

To meditate.

Even if only for a few minutes, settle into a sturdy seat, take a few deep breaths, and let your mind rest.

Sitting to write, I open my laptop and take a sip of chai tea.

Check email.

Click. Sip. Scan.

A Linkedin tab’s already open. Why not?

Click. Sip. Scan.

A text from Alex pops up on my phone.

Click. Sip. Scan.

Back to email. Josh Spector’s newsletter dropped in.

Click. Sip. Scan.

“I’m swinging by the mall to return a few things. Need anything?” asks Tracy, hugging me.

“No, I’m ok.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Click. Sip. Scan.

I finally open a Google Doc and type N-E-W-S-L-E-T-T-E-R 1.4.2022.

The blank screen stares back at me. It knows I’ve got nothing.

Aspirations for this year rush my mind: the business I want to build, the stuff I want to write, the people I want to help.

It all rides on me being better than I was last year. The weight of my goals smashes me and my torso tightens like a corkscrew.

I shut the laptop, pull out a notebook, and start writing.

I write how I’m feeling, the fears, frustrations…

I write my experience, the scattered thoughts, floods of doubt, intense emotions…

I scribble it all out of me and onto the page.

Three pages in, tension drains from my head, down my back.

My breathing slows and deepens. With each word, my mood lightens.

All those goals and aspirations? I can’t accomplish ‘em all today.

And neither can you.

But you can scribble a few pages.

You can take a walk outside.

You can share a moment with a friend, your partner, or your kid.

Make yourself a healthy meal or read a chapter in your favorite book.

As you embrace this first week of 2022, remain gentle with yourself and your tasks.

The beginning of all things is weak and tender.

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

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Last week, my parents brought me a box of my old stuff. They found it during their move to Arizona. The box is filled with football and basketball cards, pictures, poems, and a few essays I wrote in high school.

The following story came from the box. Enjoy.

Nearing the end of a long, cold day,

an old carpenter pulled his employer, the contractor, to the side for a word.

“Hey boss, think my working days are done. It’s time I retire.”

He’d spent over three decades building houses alongside the contractor. His back ached. He woke each day feeling more tired than the day before. And he yearned to spend more time with his wife and extended family.

“I understand. You’ve been a wonderful partner all these years. Can I ask you to build one last home for me?”

The carpenter looked down at his muddied Red Wing boots. He kicked some sawdust to the side as he pondered the request. Seconds later, he extended his cracked, swollen right hand toward the contractor.

“Ok boss. One last house.”

As the carpenter began the new project, he showed signs of poor workmanship:

When sheeting the floor, he forgot to glue several joists, meaning it would squeak.

When building the walls, he didn’t plumb them, meaning they would lean.

When shingling the roof, he didn’t wrap the plywood, meaning it would leak.

His heart just wasn’t in it anymore. In fact, he’d grown resentful and wished he had never accepted the job. It was an unfortunate way to end a career and partnership. 

After the final inspection, the contractor handed the front door keys to the carpenter.

“This is your house. My gift to you.”

He couldn’t believe it. If he had known he was building his own house, he would’ve done so differently. But now he had to live in the house knowing all the problems he created. All the problems he’d need to fix.

Like the carpenter, we don’t always do our best work at the right time. We build our lives distracted and resentful. Once we realize what we’ve created, we wish we would’ve done things differently.

And you can.

You are your life’s carpenter. Each day you hammer nails, carry wood, and build walls.

Do so wisely.

Because you aren’t building a house, you’re building a home.

And it’s the only one you got.

Remember,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Today’s intention is:

To try.

Curiosity wrings anxiety from your system and fills it with trust. But it is the effort, not the thought, that counts most.

“What a year, buddy.”

“Yea man. What a year.”

Sitting at Cest Si Bon bakery, John and I sip coffee while Newport’s morning sun peeks over the shops along Pacific Coast Highway.

“I’m writing reflections for 2021 then goals for 2022. You in?” He says.

“In” I say.

I start with a gratitude list, scribbling names like John, Ryan, Adam, Kevin, Alex… people with which I’ve deepened relationships. I write Tracy’s name, too.

Then I jot creative projects like The 5 Buckets book, the podcast, and this newsletter.

I write Pressfield, Holiday, Cameron, Clear… authors who’ve shared their wisdom with me.

I note changes in my health: diet, meditation, running.

I’ve covered over 800 miles on foot this year. Halfway through yesterday’s seven-mile beach run, I spot dolphins jumping near the sun’s reflection on the water.

What are the chances I look up at that exact moment? It felt like a little gift showed up just for me.

Reviewing my list, I see all the people, ideas, and moments of the past year as gifts.

John and I crossed paths at a local fundraising event. We agreed to lunch after discovering we both grew up in Ohio.

I can’t remember stumbling across Ryan Holiday. But four books in, he’s my second favorite author (Pressfield remains king).

Even The 5 Buckets, an idea that eventually led to writing my first book and this newsletter, came by way of a friend’s invitation to a retreat. That idea doesn’t find me without it.

Like the dolphins, everything just showed up when I was looking.

“How’s the reflection coming? Ready for 2022 goals?” John asks.

“There’s plenty 2021 left. Let’s see what happens.” I say.

Life seems to reward effort and punish expectation.

Go. Try. Be curious.

But allow these final days to unfold. One by one. Moment to moment.

Keep your eyes and smile wide.

As time slips through your fingers, let meaning fall into your hands.

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you like what you read, please subscribe and share with a friend or two.

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Today’s intention is:

To receive.

You put out plenty. What might you take in?

Looking at my MacBook screen,

I feverishly chew my bottom lip (a constant when tension blocks my creativity).

Staring and chewing…

Staring and chewing...

I’ve spent the last 68 minutes researching a new project, a self-mastery service for software sales professionals. Name, content, pricing, and launch ideas scatter my mind and laptop.

14 tabs glare back at me, each one representing minutes wasted and frustration gained. I’m not any clearer than when I started. I’m mentally stranded.

Staring and chewing…

Staring and chewing...

The laptop closes, the running shoes slide on, and I head for the front door.

Newport Beach’s boardwalk sits a half-mile away and marks the start of a three-mile jog to Balboa Pier. A strong afternoon breeze greets me as I trot down the coastline.

Breathing and stepping…

Breathing and stepping...

While Fleetwood Mac streams through my Airpods, the thoughts I meant to leave at the house battle for position like a wrestling match in my conscience. 

Breathing and stepping…

Breathing and stepping...

I force my attention toward the vast Pacific, choppy and rumbling. Then I peek up at the sun stretching across the cloudless sky. Kids play basketball on my right as I pass an elementary school on my left. A fellow jogger smiles and waves.

Breathing and stepping…

Breathing and stepping...

A grin spreads across my face. Crispy ocean air fills my nose. The wind gently nudges me forward.

“Damn, I’m lucky,” I think.

Then nearing the Balboa Pier turnaround, a little idea falls into my brain. The perfect gift of clarity just seizes me. I stop, pull my phone out, and type it into notes.

And like that, the tension and frustration from earlier are gone.

Creativity is not a thinking skill. It’s a receiving one.

I put myself in a position to receive.

And so can you.

Put the screen away. Head outside. Take in the immensity.

Breath and step…

Breath and step…

Damn, you’re lucky.

Aren’t you?

Remember,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

PS - Are you a software sales professional?

I’d love to hear from you and get your feedback on my next project. Reply to this email and I’ll respond as quickly as I can 😊

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you’ve got 30 seconds to spare, I’d love to hear your thoughts on these three questions.

Today’s intention is:

To follow.

Sometimes our dreams are too big. Follow an inspiring friend, instead.

“What’s NSC mean?” I say.

“Next State Champ” Bret says.

He had written NSC on athletic tape wrapped around his wrist. I also noticed it on his locker, shoes, and headgear.

“It reminds me every day what I’m working toward.”

Bret was a junior and I was a freshman. He shared this insight on my first day of high school wrestling practice.

A few days later, I wrapped my wrist in tape and wrote NSC on it. I added it to my locker, shoes, and headgear.

“I run every day before practice. If you want to be a state champion, you should too. Meet at 5 AM.” He says.

“Ok” I say.

I didn’t really think I could be a state champ. I weighed 108 pounds. I hadn’t wrestled a single varsity match. I’d get crushed by the older guys on our team. But I thought Bret was cool and wanted to follow him.

So I did.

We ran together every morning. We practiced together every afternoon. We reviewed film and lifted weights every evening.

We’d enter two divisions to wrestle double the amount of competition at tournaments and even run sprints after matches in the hallway behind the gymnasium,

“It’s what state champions do.” He’d say.

Bret graduated two years later. I kept writing NSC. Kept running and practicing the way he showed me. Kept doing sprints after my matches.

My senior year, I entered the state tournament ranked 5th. Before each match, my hands got really cold. It happens when I get nervous.

I wrestled well enough to place 2nd, points away from state champ. A week later, I was named an All-American, placing 7th at the national tournament. A month after that, I was offered a scholarship to wrestle at The University of North Carolina.

Never once did it cross my mind that I would reach such a level of success. I didn’t really know it was possible. I discovered it.

And so can you.

Follow a friend…

Remind yourself what you’re working toward…

Do what you can each day…

And see what happens.

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Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

PS if you enjoy a post, please like and comment to show your support 😊

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Today’s intention is:

To begin.

Even if you have only two minutes to give today, give ‘em. You’ll be drastically closer to being the person you want to be than if you don’t.

He wasn’t born to cover 14,000 miles in one spring season.

But after 17 years of trial and error, it can look like it.

James Lawrence AKA The Iron Cowboy wants everyone to know his secret,

“Nobody’s the expert at the beginning of their journey. Nobody. You have to meet yourself where you’re at today… the hardest thing to do is to start. Because that’s where the highest amount of struggle is. That’s where our experience, momentum, and success is at its lowest.”

I stumbled across James’ mind-blowing journey a few different times this year. Most recently, I heard him speak on the Rich Roll Podcast.

During the conversation, he details his humble beginnings as an endurance athlete,

“Our journey started as a 4-mile fun run that I struggled through.”

That was 2004. Then he spent four years working his way to completing just a single, half Ironman (which I completed myself last month. Trust, it’s plenty hard!)

A full Ironman involves swimming 2.4 miles, cycling 112 miles, and running 26.2 miles.

Earlier this year, James completed that 140.6-mile journey - 101 DAYS IN A ROW.

And while that feat inspires and impresses, it’s not what strikes me most.

What does?

James really is just a regular guy.

He isn’t some endurance-freak-of-nature purpose-built to crush distance races.

He was well into adulthood when he completed that first 4-mile race.

Day by day, race by race, and seventeen years later, he manufactured The Iron Cowboy,

“You can’t go from 0 - 100 and miss all of the moments in between… Everybody has a beginning, middle, and end to their journey.”

He started just like the rest of us: clueless, incapable, and lost.

But, he started.

And so can you.

Remember,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Like 👍 or Comment 💬

PS if you enjoy a post, please like and comment to show your support 😊

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Today’s intention is:

To practice.

Maybe you wake up late.

Maybe you don’t have it all figured out.

Maybe you’re even facing some real adversity.

Don’t sweat it. Take today’s opportunity to get a little bit better.

Focus on what you can offer the world (not what the world can offer you)

“No, use the scrap 2x12 instead. It conserves wood and leaves more surface area for drywall. Win-win.” Jeff says.

“Win-win” I say.

I framed houses during college to help pay tuition. At first, I mostly picked up trash, stocked lumber piles, and rolled out tools for the crew. The experienced carpenters handled the more complicated jobs. The foreman handled the most complicated.

Each month, carpenters pleaded for chances to build spiral staircases, balloon walls, and tray ceilings. A tray ceiling looks like a giant hexagon embedded above a fancy room.

The foreman always framed those.

One day, I decided to stack all the wood I knew Jeff (the foreman) would need for his ceiling.

Then I built scaffolding for him to easily work above ground. I cut all the angled pieces he’d need to make the intricate corners. I even beveled the edges just like he liked them.

Finally, I cleaned out the entire room once he finished. He said a job is never done until it’s all cleaned up.

I did this for a few months and several ceilings. Then one day, Jeff found himself in a pinch.

He needed to fix the south side of the roof. Someone had framed it backward. But it was also time to frame a tray ceiling in the sunroom. Neither could wait.

As all the experienced carpenters pleaded for the opportunity, Jeff glanced over at me.

“Bobby, take Johnson with you and frame that sunroom tray.”

“You got it.” I said.

Bending down to cut a 63-degree angle, I point Johnson to the bevel setting of the electric saw.

“Make sure you keep edges clean so they line up nice for drywall. That’s how Jeff likes them. I’ll show you how I do it then you can cut the rest for me. Win-win.” I say.

“Win-win” he says.

Please like 👍 and comment 💬

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Other short stories to spark, strengthen, and support Self-discovery:

Starting fresh at age 50

You will never visit Blockbuster again

Share stories, not opinions

Buy The 5 Buckets Book

PS if you enjoy a post, please like and comment to show your support 😊

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Today’s intention is:

To play.

Everyone’s favorite class growing up is recess. Rushing to the yard, grabbing a ball, making a new friend... we live for the fun.

And we still can.

The playground is a just whole lot bigger.

Love the track and keep your horse wanting more

The following story comes from Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield:

“I got the chance a few years ago to watch a famous trainer work with his thoroughbreds.

I had imagined that the process would be something hard-core like Navy SEAL training. To my surprise, the sessions were more like play.

The work was serious, as in teaching the two-year-olds to enter the starting gate, and the horses were definitely learning. But the trainer took pains to make the schooling feel like fun.

When a horse got tired, the trainer took him off the track. If a mount got bored or restive, the trainer never forced him to continue or drove him “through the pain.”

He explained:

A horse is a flight animal. Even a stallion, if he can, will choose flight over confrontation.

Picture the most sensitive person you’ve ever known; a horse is ten times more sensitive.

A horse is a naked nervous system, particularly a thoroughbred.

He’s a child. A three-year-old, big and fast as he is, is a baby.

Horses understand the whip, but I don’t want a racer that runs that way. A horse that loves to run will beat a horse that’s compelled, every day of the week.

I want my horses to love the track.

I want my exercise riders to have to hold them back in the morning because they’re so excited to get out and run.

Never train your horse to exhaustion.

Leave him wanting more.”

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

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Today’s intention is:

To act.

You can always correct course. You can always adapt to a new environment or obstacle. You can always turn back. But you can’t do any of that if you never begin the journey. Get moving.

On Saturday morning at 10:10 AM

I climb off my road bike and walk into the transition area of the Alpha Win Palm Springs Half Ironman. As I bend to change into my running shoes, a savage pain rips through my left knee, like it might snap off if I move it any further.

I’m 57 miles into a 70-mile race. I’ve prepared for months to get to this moment. And now I have to consider my knee may not be healthy enough to run 13 miles. Grimacing in pain, I slip into my running shoes, stand up, then hobble around hoping it will subside.

What if I have to quit a few miles down the road?

What if no one is around to help?

What if I injure myself and am unable to walk for a long time?

More questions rush my mind. I can complicate the situation as much as I want. But it boils down to a simple decision.

Do I run and see what happens? Or do I stop because I think it’s too risky?

See what happens… With our decisions, isn’t that really all we can do?

We don’t know the consequences of our actions before we take them. That’s the mystery of being human. That’s the beauty, too.

Even when we’re certain X will lead to Y, it rarely does. Our assumptions are surprisingly inaccurate. Better not to make them and instead, embrace the unknown wide-eyed and curious.

I start jogging with a slight limp. The first mile routes through grassy hills. I deliver each step with intention and grace to keep from rolling an ankle or hurting my knee further.

Moving onto the pavement, I pick up speed. A few miles in, my pain disappears. My breath and the desert scenery steal my attention. Other racers serve up smiles and positive messages. A few onlookers wave cowbells and shout “good job” as I pass.

94 minutes later I cross the finish line. I averaged just under 7.5 minutes per mile which is the fastest I’ve run such a distance. I didn’t know I could run that fast.

This week, will you run and see what happens?

Or stop because you think it too risky?

Not every action results in positive surprises. But each does lead to knowledge and understanding. Cede to our perceptions and we remain trapped in a cloud of contemplation.

Remember,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

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Today’s intention is:

To prepare.

Make a playlist, bring your favorite coffee mug, and pee before you hit the road. Life lives better when you pack an extra sandwich.

But I feel incredible, now.

“How’s your week going?”

“Great! It’s race week. I’m so fired up.”

“Dude, ironman, right? That’s crazy. You ready?”

“Yep. The bike will be tough. But I’ve trained enough.”

“Just think about how incredible you’ll feel afterward. It’ll all be worth it for that moment.”

My friend gets me thinking about when the race is over. I’m not sure I’ll feel incredible at all. In fact, I might feel a little down.

I’m not racing in this thing for the finish line. I’m not doing it so I can tell everyone I did it, either. I’m racing for all the moments: every second in the lake, every mile of the bike ride, and every step of the run. I want to soak up the entire beautiful, exhausting, painful, challenging experience. And when it’s over… well, it’s over. What’s incredible about that?

Maybe I sound crazy. But that’s the truth. And I think it’s part of my rub with goals.

Goals get so much hype. But anyone can toss out a massive goal. So what?

Goals only represent a moment of change. My goal is to finish the race. So I do. Then?

Goals can be out of my control. Yesterday I get an email detailing cancellation procedures due to Covid. If that happens, am I a failure?

Of course not. I’ve already succeeded in logging hundreds of miles. I run and bike almost every day. I enjoy it. I feel incredible, now.

It’s all the action around our goals that matter.

Think about marriage. Sure, the wedding (the goal in this example) is cool. But you know what’s really cool?

Sipping coffee together in the morning. Getting a hug when I need it. Sharing the human experience with my best friend.

When goals hang you up, let ‘em go. Savor what’s right in front of you, instead.

Life is so much cooler than those brief moments of validation and expectation.

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you like what you read, please subscribe and share with a friend or two.

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Today’s intention is:

To remember.

Remember the relief, the smile, and that feeling of “done”. Remember, the perspective standing high atop the mountain.

These memories may be just what we need to help us climb another.

The After

The alarm sounds and my phone reads 6:05 AM.

Training for an ironman, I planned to bike and run this morning. But lying in bed feels much easier and more comfortable. The idea of rising, changing, riding, jogging, and sweating freezes me. I cling to the covers, juggling thoughts of resistance.

You've been here.

Staring at a blank page, dwelling on a deadline, or debating a phone call. It's all the same. It all challenges us to move, to act... to begin. Our biggest aspirations often require the smallest steps. And yet, we refuse to take them.

I eventually find my way to the bike. 72 minutes later, my smile widens with accomplishment. I breathe in fresh morning air while the sun warms my face. My heart, lungs, and legs pulse with satisfaction. Those troublesome morning thoughts have melted away. Ah, this is what it feels like. This is The After.

You've been here too.

You think, well that wasn't so bad or even, that was pretty awesome. Connect with these moments. Savor them. It's in these moments you find fuel. Observe your feelings, surroundings, and takeaways. As best you can, sear the entire, beautiful experience into your mind. Because resistance will return and you want to be ready.

Today, at least for a moment, action prevails over inaction. I humbly celebrate my small victory. I wish you a few wins as well. Let us not rest here. We have much taller mountains to climb.

The memory of today's win may be just the thing to help us begin tomorrow's ascent.

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you like what you read, please subscribe and share with a friend or two.

Share Student of Intention

Today’s intention is:

To be honest.

Resist coloring your message with unnecessary language. Do not belabor and do not embellish. Just share your clear, direct reality.

Today, at least for a moment, share your honest truth.

The guessing game

Waiting for Zoom to spin up, I adjust my Airpods and sip some water. A team I work with reviews their sales opportunities each week as a group. Ten of us log on. None of us on video.

“I don’t quite know what it is about this deal, but something feels off.” Shares one executive.

“Do you have a pricing incentive in place?” Someone asks.

“Have you looped in legal?” Another adds.

“What about customer success? They always help move my deals forward.”

“No no, it’s none of that. I can’t put my finger on it.” The executive responds.

The manager steps in, “Bobby, what do you think?”

I take a breath, adjust my pods again, and slowly speak into the black screen, “Have you asked the customer what she thinks?”

This happens often in sales (and in life). We play a guessing game with ourselves, our team, our friends and family…

We try to guess what other people want, what they’re thinking, or what they might be facing.

We get awfully creative too. And while our ideas can be pretty good, we miss a big opportunity to connect. To get real, vulnerable, and authentic. To ask and to learn.

How often do you not ask what you really want to ask?

How often do you resist sharing how you really feel?

And for what? To keep things “moving along”...

Tension is funny. If you feel it, chances are the other person does too. You can save both yourselves trouble by cutting through it with a direct, honest question.

And when you’re that other person, don’t you want to know? If something is up, don’t you wish someone (anyone 🙏) would say something? Be that someone. Clear the air!

If our vulnerabilities represent weakness, it is sharing them, not hiding them, that creates strength.

This isn’t an opportunity to project or blame. This is an opportunity to share unconditionally, without fear, and with authenticity. Honesty elicits honesty. The same goes for transparency and candor.

This week, when thoughts hurry by whispering maybe it’s this or perhaps it’s that…

Take a breath. Settle your mind. Then consider what honesty looks like.

If you’re truly being honest, what might you share?

What might you ask?

Use straightforward, muddle-free, and direct communication.

Clear. That’s what honesty looks like.

Please like 👍 and comment 💬

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you like what you read, please subscribe and share with a friend or two.

Share Student of Intention

Today’s intention is:

To see.

See strangers as friends, enemies as allies, and new faces as opportunities to connect, learn, and appreciate another.

See us all as the same frightened, fragile, beautiful, capable, and complicated miracle.

Today, at least for a moment, just see everyone as human.

Father of praise

The fading sun and our rumbling tummies cue a search for dinner. Festive music and Saturday evening chatter pour out of a nearby Mexican restaurant. Ryan and I walk over to see if we can grab a seat.

A smiling hostess leads us to a patio table overlooking the dusty Santa Rosa mountains of La Quinta, California.

Coming off a sixty-mile bike ride just an hour earlier, we feel famished and ready to devour some food. The waiter approaches then asks what we’re having.

“I’m debating between the chicken mole and chile colorado. What do you think?” Ryan asks.

“Chicken mole. You’ll love it.” The waiter responds confidently.

“I’m leaning chile verde but sounds like you know what’s good. What do you recommend?” I say.

“The #2 combination. I’ll have the kitchen make you a chile verde enchilada. That way, you can try two other items including our chile relleno. You’ll really enjoy the entire dish.”

He is right. Everything tastes delicious and fills us up.

When he returns, we praise him for his recommendations and great service.

“I’m Bobby by the way. What is your name?”

“Abiud. Thank you for asking. You know, when I meet good guys like you, it makes me feel important.”

“You are important!” Ryan and I respond in unison.

“You see, I used to date this woman. She is beautiful, smart, and successful. She’s a lawyer. In fact, she comes from a family of lawyers. As a waiter, I never felt good enough for her. But I like my job and it’s a pleasure to serve people who appreciate my work.”

“My wife’s family has a long history in hospitality. The work is challenging and rewarding. You do it well and should be proud. Thank you for taking care of us.” Ryan replies.

“Your name, A-be-youd. Where does it come from?” He adds.

“It’s not a typical Mexican name and kids would tease me about it when I was young. I used to hate it. But I learned to love it as I grew older. It’s a biblical name that means father of praise.”

The exchange tugs at my heart. It serves as a reminder that we all have our stories of shame, regret, vulnerability, and gratitude. We all have our stuff.

And sometimes we just want someone to notice.

You can be that someone.

A simple question to make him feel heard. An acknowledging nod to make her feel seen. A thoughtful reply to make them feel understood.

Your curious, warm, and compassionate gestures might make someone feel important.

And play a small part in making us all a little more human.

Please like 👍 and comment 💬

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Feeling extra intentional? Listen to the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you like what you read, please subscribe and share with a friend or two.

Share Student of Intention

Today’s intention is:

To seek depth.

Don’t squeeze more into your day. Squeeze more out of each moment.

It’s only 159 Words

Thank you for opening my shortest email yet.

I assume you want to read it and maybe learn something about your Self.

So, how are you reading it? Quickly skimming? Thinking about something else?

Or are you considering each word, thoughtfully, to tug away some value?

At 159 words, you should be here no more than 2 minutes…

But if you take 3 minutes, the message might sink in deeper.

Today, take the extra minute.

When you talk to your spouse, take the extra minute to listen to her reality.

When you drive to the store, take the extra minute to appreciate the technology in your hands.

When you walk outside, take the extra minute to notice nature’s immensity.

We are what we choose to do. And we can only choose so much.

The key isn’t trying to choose more. It’s trying to get more out of what we choose.

Good luck today.

And thanks for the extra minute.

Until next week,

Don’t wait. Start small. Learn as you go.

🙏🧡🤘

Out now: The 5 Buckets Book

Feeling extra intentional?

Mikhail Alfon hosted me on his Oversharing podcast. We discussed The 5 Buckets Book, high school, creativity, and music. Give it a listen and let us know what you think.

You can also check out the Student of Intention Podcast on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.